Getting back into salad for lunch at work was a shock to the
system as I’d been stuffing my face while I was off over Christmas and New
Year. My body was like “What the fuck is this??? “Where’s my carbs???” “Where’s
the bread???!” – Obviously all over my arse but lets not dwell on this!
Thankfully the skirt drama occurred the day after the
pregnancy scare had been swiftly diverted because believe me, had my skirt done
this little trick the day before, I would have been hysterical!
Note to self, don’t ask 4 friends whether it is possible to
be pregnant even though you had your last period a few days after the last time
you had sex. I had 2 “yes it is possible” and 2 “no not likely”. Dammit! For
the record I wasn’t being a drama queen, I was 10 days late by this stage (and
I’m never late). By my calculations (and I am in accounts so bear with me) that
would make me approx 6 – 7 weeks gone, so surely you’d know by now?
Who’s the daddy? Fuck knows – its not that I put it about a
lot, I hasten to add, its just I kinda slept with 2 different men in the space
of a week, in my defence I am single and it was my birthday!
I suppose you’d have to wait and see, as it gets bigger if
you can feel karate kicks/yoga moves and you’re simultaneously craving bean
burgers, it could be my vegetarian ex’s? Or equally badly, if the baby’s
doing the highland fling in there and I’m craving haggis, then its gotta be the
Scottish guy? Either way thankfully this little fantasy/nightmare was nipped in
the bud by a cheapo pregnancy test bought from Sainsbury’s and carried out in
the work toilets at lunch time. (Would have been an interesting afternoon had
it gone the other way!)
Anyway 2013 has arrived with a bang! Happy New Year to you
all! Despite an eye watering credit card bill 3 days before New Year (thanks
Capital One) I still managed to see in the New Year with a blast. I took the
unprecedented decision to avoid the nightclubs (gasp) and the drink (double
gasp) and to drive to see a few of my friends and see the New Year in with
people I care about rather than with a bunch of strangers. So when the clock
struck midnight I was
surrounded by some of my favourite people whom I’ve known for over 20 years and
I have to say, it felt great!
New years resolutions were simple, get control of my
finances by writing down all expenditure in my diary on a daily basis (so far
so good). Also make a list of all tasks to be achieved on a daily basis in the
diary so I don’t have to try to remember everything all the time (Helps me
sleep) Stop sleeping with my ex’s to avoid any further pregnancy scares (so far
so good). Put in extra hours at work to maximise potential of hitting my
targets (we shall see). Write the blog on a more regular basis so it’s not a 10
page essay! (judge for yourself) Lastly do more fun stuff with my weekends and
try not to feel guilty at missing the odd exercise class.
Well I’m off to a good start there! Friday night I ended up
in London to see a midnight cabaret show at the Hippodrome
casino with a couple of people from work and my fabulous nephew. It was great
fun, I’m always amazed at the level of talent some people have. There was
plenty of acrobatics, a backwards strip (weird but fascinating). The guy who
was balancing upside down on a tray on top of five or six flat lying glass
bottles on a table - while they rolled side to side? Scary!
There was the sword swallowing lady in a rubber suit (I
couldn’t quite work out if her ample arse was real or a fake booty!). She was a
bit extreme especially as she chopped up a cucumber mid air with the sword!
There was the multi hula hooping Elvis impersonator, I was surprised that
he didn’t have a hotter body because hula hooping is an amazing work out and really
hard to do – believe me I’ve tried it. You can tone with just one, while he was
using up to 10-15 in the end which was visually stunning.
My favourite was the mime who acted out famous songs through
facial impressions (which were hysterical) and hand gestures? (quite rude but
very funny). He had me laughing throughout. The host was also quite funny
and started on my nephew who was brilliant and took the banter in his stride,
my work mate was well impressed! Just as well really as we were sat right up
next to the stage so were laying ducks! I was gutted when the show was over as
I felt like I didn’t want to leave London yet.
Obviously it had nothing to do the huge level of totty in the casino!
Definitely a recommendation for a pulling ground for next time? (Huge sigh).
This week I’ve booked tickets to go to see “Salad Days” at
the Riverside theatre so I’m quite excitable.
Let’s just hope the snow stays away so I can get there.
On the exercise front Body Combat 54 was launched last week
and I was elated when our Monday night instructor Steve surprised us all by
knowing the new routine (he’s usually a couple of weeks behind). The elation
was fastly contradicted by the realisation that damn, BC54 is hard! Also I was
pleased to see that they have fitted in a new cxworx class in the New Years
timetable so I can now get this awesome core workout too! Perhaps a new body in
time for my summer holiday?. Let’s hope so!
On the movie front - I did something amazing - for the first
time ever I went to watch a movie all on my own – gasp (it was during the day
on my day off!) It wasn’t because I couldn’t find someone to go with, it was
because I couldn’t be bothered to try to fit it around any one else at short
notice. So off I went, bought a big cup of tea and some toasted fruit bread
from Starbucks and watched Pitch Perfect which was brilliant! I really enjoyed
it and I was pleased to see that I wasn’t the only one on my own in there! It
was weird walking out on your own though but other than that I thoroughly enjoyed
myself and would totally recommend it!. (The movie and the going alone).
I went to see Jack Reacher with my cousin which was very
good and I enjoyed it even though I’m not a huge Tom Cruise fan. Apparently if
you’ve read the book you may be disappointed but I think that’s a given with
any film based on a book as no film can ever compete with a book readers
imagination. (Though I’m hoping 50 shades will!).
We also saw – “Playing for Keeps” but I didn’t really think
much of the story? It’s like they spent so much money on a star studded cast
they forgot about the storyline?. Sorry Gerard Butler!
Elsewhere in NoshWorld I have been watching a fair bit of
dating television. Did any one notice the guy on “Take Me Out” who had a
blatant love bite on his neck???! It was really funny because it disappeared
after the break – amazing what a bit of concealer can achieve!
The Love Machine is back though I was disappointed that the
men in the audience were hotter than the men in the machine! (Not that I’m
fussy or anything!).
I was beyond excited at the second series of “The
Undateables” I saw the first episode last week and though not as good as the
first series, it did concern me that these people believed all their problems
would be resolved just by meeting someone and that being in love was everything
to them? May be I’m just a 30 something cynic but to me a relationship is never
the answer to all your problems. It may solve a few but from experience I’d
expect a whole new host of them! The guy who’s tourettes got out of control
after he was dumped by his long term girlfriend says he can control it better
when he’s in a relationship and happy, made me wonder why he can’t be happy
single and control it that way?. Surely its psychological warfare to pin your
entire future happiness on having something which is basically out of your control?.
Though I did think the guy with autism who went speed dating
with a bagful of business cards was a genius! Why have I never thought of that?
Lol!
I also watched Channel Four’s “Secret to a good marriage”
(which to me is surely a good man?). Apparently in one of the cases the secret
was for the woman to know her place – nice. She had basically given up on all
her rights to make decisions etc for a peaceful life and she seemed ok with
this. I wanted to knock her husband out, but then that’s just who I am!
I was shocked by the man who said that it was every man’s
fantasy to date an older woman, which is fair enough but this woman was 32
years older than him and he met her when he was 18? Then again what do I
know? They’ve been happily in a relationship for 13 years! Though she did come
across a bit of a mother figure and the thought that they sleep together made
me quite quesy!
Then there was the woman who’s secret to a good marriage was
infidelity? Really? She said her husband was aware of her affairs and he wasn’t
interested in sex so accepted the fact she had to get it elsewhere? She was
adamant it’s not cheating if your husband knows about it? Erm sorry I have to
disagree!
They said it was normal for sex to cease in a marriage? The
went on to say if you put a penny in jar for every time you had sex in the
first year of a marriage and then took out a penny for every time you had sex
in subsequent years the jar would never be empty? OMG! To me I don’t see the
point of getting married if it means I’ll never get to have sex again? Why do
we spend all this time and energy on trying to find the right person to spend
your life with if at the end of it you have to give up sex? I don’t want to do
that, like ever!
Moving swiftly on, I’ve not given up on dating but not much
to report on the dating front at the moment other than I’ve made the decision
to come off the free dating site which I have concluded is full of weirdo’s and
men just wanting attention through email or just wanting sex. (Point proved New
Years day when the guy I’d been speaking to agreed to a date and then
disappeared with my phone number without sorting out the details). I intend to
join a proper paying site possibly next month after I’ve done some research
into the pros and cons of the different sites.
In the meantime I am attending a Kent based dating site’s
birthday celebrations next weekend, where they are attempting to hold a record
breaking speed dating event (300 dates) for charity! I’m quite excited though I
have no idea how it will all work as there are no age restrictions but suddenly
the thought of printing out several business cards doesn’t seem like such a bad
idea!
Wish me luck, I may need it! Have a good week all :) xx
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