Wedding, funeral, dating, birthday and Christmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas. Never a dull moment in NoshWorld!

There’s nothing worse than walking into the line of fire of someone else’s fart, like seriously its bad enough when they’re your own but someone else’s is enough to make you gag. This one in question came from the arse of a small child which makes you wonder what the hell is his mother feeding him?......

Greetings from NoshWorld. Sorry I know it’s taken me ages to write. So I'm gonna (briefly) fit in 3 months in one blog? I suggest you make a cuppa or pour a glass of wine and get comfortable!

Firstly let me start by thanking everyone who emailed and text me to offer to apply for the position of my next FWB! In all seriousness that was not the point of the last blog, but thanks anyway it did make me giggle!

So September saw the last BBQ of the year courtesy of my fabulous cousin. I showed up with my sprite zero and skimmed milk (I was taking my diet seriously) and then stuffed my face on kebabs and cake (obviously not that seriously!) There was logic in there somewhere!

September also saw the end of my love affair with Christian Grey (huge sigh) and what an affair it was! I miss him dearly! I have to be honest I had really hoped she would leave the ending open for future books but she kind of ruined that with the epilogue. (Why? oh why?, oh why??!!)  I wanted more!! (Story of my life - Dammit!)

Moving on I only managed to see a couple of movies in September, the new brad Pitt one “Killing me softly” which was so bad I wish somebody would! I actually walked out half way through because I couldn't bear to waste another minute of my life in there! I've been told it’s had mixed reviews and its like Marmite  you either love it or you hate it. I hate both!

I tell you what I did love however? I loved “Looper” – It was an awesome adrenaline fuelled roller-coaster ride which left you continuously trying to work out how it was going end. All I’m going to say is I’m surprised that little kid didn't give me nightmares! Lol! Bruce Willis – still got it baby! Still looking hot blowing away the bad guys with your massive sub-machine guns. I bet he loves still being able to do action movies. I’m also very excited that he’s doing another Die Hard movie which is coming out on Valentines day! Three guesses where I’m gonna be! Woohoo.

Lastly September saw me desperately trying to shift a few pounds by increasing my exercise regime. (mainly because I love food and can’t give it up) I spent 2 weeks thrashing it out at the gym – 15 classes to be precise – the result? I put on 2 pounds! Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!! I was not impressed.

October was a strange month, one weekend I’m celebrating one of my favourite school friend’s wedding held at the stunning Waldorf Hilton Hotel in London. Which involved a scrumptious feast of a variety of vegetarian curry on a “lazy Susan” – how awesome is that??? Copious amounts of alcohol were consumed and the evening was topped off by some serious Bollywood dancing! Where else could you do this but at the Hilton???! I wish I could have videoed some of it, the mixture of guests from all races on the dance floor following the choreography of a little old lady showing us how its done was fantastic and truly worthy of a you tube video! .

I went from the joy of a wedding to the sadness of a funeral the following weekend. I had to make the 4 hour journey “up North” to Manchester to attend my Aunt’s funeral. The last time we were all together for a funeral was when my Dad died and I clearly remember these cousins showing up at our house and setting up camp in the lounge where we all slept for a few nights following the funeral. It was a mini adventure (I was six).  These were the people who came down to look after us because we had lost both parents in the space of a couple of months, they apparently helped my sister’s make arrangements for our future.

With this in mind there was no question in my mind as to whether we were going to be at this funeral, so on few hours notice I set off (the night before the funeral) with my sister and her husband and planned to stay in a hotel mid way. I had to be sneaked into a hotel room because we were too cheap to pay for 2 rooms. (We can be so bloody Asian sometimes!) In fairness they were £65.00 each for what I would class as pretty basic facilities.

The original plan was for my sister and her hubby to check in together while I hide in the car, then my brother in law would come out to get something from the car and go back in with me? Bearing in mind there is a 12 year age gap between me and my sister, we are different builds and had different clothing on, the receptionist would have to be pissed to fall for it!

There was talk of climbing in from a window (the room was on the ground floor) but I’d had a glass of wine to steady my nerves by this stage and was rather tipsy so that plan was aborted, instead we had to wait for the receptionist to change shifts so I could go in through the entrance bold as brass like I was a paying guest! Cue my walking into the automatic door which didn’t automatically open – I do like to make an entrance, so much for keeping a low profile!

Once safely In the room I ended up sleeping on the floor – well I tried to sleep but even my earplugs couldn’t drown out a “certain someone’s” snoring! Lol. To make matters worse during the night I managed to twist my neck so badly that I couldn’t move it! Apparently sleeping on the floor isn’t good for you? Go figure, either that or I’m getting old!

So off we headed the following morning, (me facing forward at all times) and managed to get through the funeral. We spent a good few hours catching up with my cousins who despite losing their mother still managed to maintain their sense of humour. What else can you do in such a situation?. I have to say I was really pleased we had made the effort to say good bye to my aunt properly. It was a shame we couldn’t stay any longer but we all had to get back to work for the next day.

I was quite tearful on the journey home as it had been a long day with plenty of time for reflection and all I could think was at this rate by the time I get married most of my relatives will probably be dead! Lol!

So what followed in November was a month of dating, oh yeah baby. I talked to a few men and agreed to a date with a Scottish guy  (I’ve always been a sucker for accents!) He was just my type – dark hair, blue eyes, not too tall and quite fit, the irony that he lived around the corner wasn’t lost on me. (Even if I got snowed in we could walk to each others houses – awesome!!) Seriously after all this time looking for Mr Right – surely he couldn’t possibly live round the corner? If so how come our paths had never crossed? We both use the same small tescos for the odd pint of milk? We probably fill up our cars at the same petrol station? We were both at the Notting Hill carnival this year (with a few other thousand people – granted). He worked at Brannigans about the time I used to work at Ikon/Diva so we were in the same “scene” you could say?.  

Any way we had a few really good dates including a night of take out while watching “Take me out” – how cute is that???! For our third date we went to watch the new Bond Movie (at my suggestion) – I have a confession to make, I'm a Bond virgin – gasp. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at how good this movie was, Daniel Craig was gorgeous, there was plenty of action, fast cars, a few gadgets, awesome explosions, and some proper British humour which was something I wasn’t expecting. So now I've got to go through the back catalogue of them! I couldn't decide who was more hot, Daniel Craig or my date!

I was quite excited about the prospect of having him help me put up Christmas lights on the outside of my house and going Christmas shopping together to buy a reindeer (obviously not a real one!) which was something we had discussed. At last I’d met a man who was into Christmas as much as me! Woohoo..

My enthusiasm was short lived as unfortunately after a few dates his interest seemed to be waning and I felt he wasn't making enough effort and I decided I deserved better than that (sexy accent or no sexy accent) which was a real shame because I did really like him. Also to be honest I'm not sure we had much in common but then I don’t seem to have much in common with many men? I don’t watch soaps, I'm not into reality TV and I don’t eat fast food unless it’s a curry and I'm not sure that’s classed as fast?!

More importantly our schedules didn't match either, he was the kind of man that decides on the day whether he wants a date and I'm the kind of girl that has to plan what I'm doing at least a day in advance? I'm all up for spontaneity once in a while but I can’t live my whole life like that. I'm never gonna be the “beck and call” girl. In that scenario I may as well be your FWB not your girlfriend.

So unfortunately another one bites the dust but you can’t say I didn't make an effort this year? I just didn't meet the right one.

Besides there wasn't time for any more dating as the rest of November was spent celebrating my birthday which was spread out over 3 weekends, yes you heard me right, I'm getting too old to fit it all into one. One weekend was spent celebrating with my family, the second I had dinner out with my cousin, I had my friends round for cake and gossip which was really nice and I was so pleased that they all made such an effort for me. Later that evening I met up with an ex and went away to a hotel for the night – gasp. Well what’s a single gal to do?.

Last but not least the third weekend we had the big girlie night out clubbing in school uniform, my first time out in public in knee high socks! I have to say i was certainly lovely and warm even though it was freezing outside!

 Elsewhere in NoshWorld It’s been a gradual process but I've finally come back down in weight, though to be fair doing 6-7 classes a week was knackering me out. I swear this exercise malarkey isn't good for you, I seemed to be exercising my brain away! I kid you not, over the last few months I may have lost a few pounds but I reckon I've lost plenty of brain cells too. There were days I couldn't string a sentence together (let alone write the blog) – I was typing everything back to front  and I didn't even have pmt as an excuse!  I didn't have the energy to participate in lively discussions – gasp! (Well that’s one way to shut me up). However over the last few weeks, thanks to a schedule change at my gym, my coming down with man flu and a very busy social life, I seemed to have calmed down with the classes a bit and regained some brain functionality!

Though I am concerned as I can feel a whole new fitness addiction coming on – it’s called Fight Klub, it’s reached Crawley and it’s the next level in body combat because your punching and kicking a huge punch bag thing.

It was something I wanted to do in November at its Crawley launch but as it was a week before my birthday I decided it might be better to wait until after all the festivities because knowing my luck I'll go crazy and injure myself!

The hype surrounding the instructor (Chrissy Harper) has been spreading around my gym for the last couple of months, he’s supposed to be “hard core” and will definitely “put you through your paces” I was told.  He also teaches Body Combat and I was gutted to hear that our Saturday combat instructor was quitting and one of the classes she teaches at another gym is to be taken over by him. How unfair is that????!

So when my gym decided to increase its prices this week by 11% (I was not a happy bunny). I started to look around for a new gym and decided the best idea was to find out where this man is teaching. I bumped into one of the instructors at the doctors (where else) and she told me that as she’s taking over the Saturday class she has someone new coming in to try out her Tuesday class. Yep you've guessed it, it’s the Fight Klub legend!

So Tuesday night even though I was quite ill, (anti biotics in my hand) I went to combat because I could not miss this opportunity to see how good he really is. I was not disappointed!

I had been warned that he was quite pretty but I have to go on record to say he has got to be the most beautiful man I have ever seen in the flesh (either that or the drugs were working!). I have no words to describe this man other than hot! Gorgeous smile, fit body and teaches combat – what more do you need??? He did also live up to his reputation and it was a really good work out. (There was plenty of panting going on in the room and I'm not talking about me!!)

The view from the front row wasn't bad either though to be honest I couldn't look at him as it would put me off what I was doing!. Shame he’s not single though! Big sigh,

As luck would have it, there’s a possibility he may become a permanent feature at my gym so I predict a surge of class numbers come January and it’s nothing to do with peoples New Year’s resolutions! Lol! So it looks like I'll be staying at my gym for a little while longer! I'm just hoping he brings Fight Klub to our gym too as I won’t be able to afford to do that separately now and I’d really like to try it. Check out the link for the Fight Klub trailer on you tube -  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRdc317Eask, How awesome does this look?!

So December arrived full throttle, .I went to the Winter Wonderland with my nephew and his friend and was very excitable by all the snow men. It was such a nice evening, walking around, looking at the lights, plenty of mulled wine and a really nice christmassy atmosphere.  It wasn't too busy as we got there quite late in the evening so it wasn't total chaos. What a perfect location for a date? May be I'll do that next year?

For the first time ever my company had a proper Christmas doooo. So last weekend we headed off to Wotton House in Dorking which I have to say was a stunning location. It is set in 20 acres of land, 13 acres of which is listed gardens so you can imagine how beautiful that is. Unfortunately due to the typical British weather (it was pissing it down) and the fact I had a cold I didn't get to explore the grounds the following morning like we had planned to.

I have to say though that I totally fell in love with the place, it’s such a beautiful location and perfect to get married in, now I've just got to find a man!

May be I'll add that to my Santa’s wish list? Please Santa bring me a man that I can walk down this aisle with, surrounded by my friends and family and live happily ever after? Is that too much to ask?  More than likely!

I know someone who'll be having a very Merry Christmas this year and that’s EL James! I was delighted to see that she has brought out a 50 shades “toy” kit available for delivery in time for Christmas! She’s our very own Mrs Claus delivering pleasure (or pain) to one and all! Not really my kind of thing though I'm up for a new rabbit? I am FWBless remember and I have been a very good girl this year – may be I'll add that to my Santa’s wish list too?. You know if you can’t find me a real man this has got to be the best alternative?.

Anyway Christmas Eve has arrived, I've finally finished work, my Christmas cookies went down well at work – no one lost a tooth and as far as I know everyone is still alive, so may be my baking isn’t too bad? All the gifts are wrapped, just got to pack my suitcase and head off to the countryside to spend Christmas with my lovely family with their special blend of humour.

I'm planning on driving down late to avoid the traffic so I'll be in my pj’s and Christmas hat, lets just hope I don’t get pulled over by the police for a random check!

So I'll take this opportunity to wish you all a fabulous Christmas, I hope you get everything you've asked for whether you have been naughty or nice. Thank you to all my friends and family for the support you have shown me this year. Much love to you all.  xx