I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss me???
I can't believe its August already, I've been single for what feels like forever, I've successfully avoided my ex's facebook for nearly 3 months (harder than you'd think) I've also been free from the dating sites since March, I got sick of meeting weirdos and perverts, are there no normal men left out there? If they don't have a foot fetish, they're Christian Grey wannabes or my latest conquest? Wanting me to talk dirty to him? I'm all up for sexting when you're apart, I have no problem with that as I'm a natural flirt but mid sex? Like seriously? Isn't that a bit like hard work? You seriously want me to stop to think of something to say? Lol. Not being funny but I don't really want to take the focus off what I'm doing? For my pleasure as well as yours obviously?
He did have a fabulous job, a beautiful apartment, impeccable taste in furnishings, gorgeous ocd kitchen, super fluffy towels and even posh toilet roll (how sad is it that I notice these things?) but that's not enough is it?
In case you were wondering I didn't see him again - not just because I couldn't think of something dirty to text while washing my hair, like seriously there is a time and a place but because he showed absolutely no interest in me, I think he spent too much time loving himself and to be honest he only really had one thing going for him!
If I'm not careful I'll become a born again virgin hurtling towards 40 like there's no tomorrow! Eek! I'm already spending all my spare time decorating my house and gardening! Whatever next? Buying a cat, a cottage and becoming a spinster?.
Elsewhere on the man front its been a pretty tough year so far, I've watched men I've dated briefly or fancied from a distance all find new partners and live happily ever after. Though strangely enough the one who got married didn't bother me at all? Weird don't you think especially as I spent four years of my life with that one? I'm more bothered about the men who had no idea I liked them, the elusive ones that got away including the guy I sold a house to several years ago and managed to fall completely under his spell in a 25 minute appointment? He could talk more than me and that's not easy! I obsessed over him for months never actually building up the courage to go talk to him in my gym. As life would have it I now work out weekly with his fiancee - and she's super fit, shame about the face! Meow! Lol.
So with no man on the horizon and in all fairness no time for one I switched my focus to spending time with my friends and family and my latest exercise addiction - FIGHTKLUB!! (FK) I know I mentioned it back in November of last year but I only actually started the classes in March and I have to say it is sooo much fun. It's an adrenaline packed, thoroughly exhausting but highly enjoyable hour of your life spent kicking and punching the bejesus out of a bag. Who knew punching a bag could be this much fun? I don't know if it's the really loud music that gets my heart pumping, my best friend punching right there with me or Chrissy Harper (fitness instructor extraordinaire) shouting how many, how many, to us. Whatever it is, it is incredibly addictive and I can't get enough.
To the extent I have handed my notice in at my gym, after 7 years membership - 2 and a half years solely doing classes I've decided the time has come for a change, I'm pushing my body too hard doing 5 - 6 classes a week (3 of which are usually body combat which is a high intensity work out plus FK). Turns out my body and my bank balance can't handle it!
Obviously I can't give up the gym classes all together so as well as regular bag boxing in FK, I've joined a smaller gym and will be doing pilates and Thai bo. It means the end of Body combat after 2 and a half years. Gasp. I think it is time. (though in all honesty if it wasn't for FK which is essentially Body Combat but at the next level I would never have contemplated quitting my gym). In a strange way as I was introduced to Body Combat by my ex it's a bit like laying the ghost to rest and moving on with my life. Like I said it's time for a change.
I've also enrolled on a nutritionist and dietitian course and am considering topping this up with a personal trainer course at the same time I want to learn how to balance the exercise with diet rather than eat as much as I do and have to work my arse off in the gym, there has to be a better balance . Hopefully by this time next year I'll have the knowledge to be able to get my body into proper shape for some serious bikini beach action!. Woohoo.
What else have I been doing? Well we had a girlie holiday in June to Egypt with 4 of my closest friends.
We had a bumpy start to the holiday as I hadn't thought to book seats online so we all ended up having to sit separately on the plane. This was followed by a row with the check in lady who was trying to persuade me to place my hand luggage in the hold luggage? I have no idea why as it was well within the weight and size restrictions but she was adamant that as it was a full flight it may be difficult to find a locker on board? Not being funny love but I was charged for having hand luggage so i'm taking hand luggage? Never mind the fact my money, passport, credit cards, insurance details, contacts, glasses and make up ie all my essential items were all in that bag and I had no padlock for it? I stood my ground and once on board found that the locker was empty any way so she stressed me out for no reason, then we had the debacle of the missing veggie meals on board? Offering a bacon breakfast at midday to a vegetarian and a Muslim? Wasn't Monarch's finest hour!
We made it to our beautiful 5 start hotel complex in Soho Sqaure surrounded by gorgeous palm trees, a choice of 7 swimming pools, 3 bars, a gym and a Spa with a jacuzzi, hot tub and a free treatment each.
Like I said I was on holiday with 4 of my closest friends including my nutty cousin. She was hilarious, she's so excitable and gets up really, really early, so we ended up sharing a room. On the first morning there I was too scared to turn over to check the time as I could sense that any small movement from me would be enough for her to think I'm awake and start jumping up n down on the bed with excitement!
She went out to find English people to talk to on the first day and came back an hour later deflated that I had taken her to a hotel full of German's! She had no one to talk to, I laughed so hard. Obviously there were plenty of British people, it just took her a few hours to seek them out! I hardly saw her for the rest of the week!
The week started really well, I introduced my friends (all married apart from me & my cousin) to tequilla shots and then interrogated them to find out whether it's worth finding a man to marry or if i'm better off alone. The jury's still out on that one!
I enjoyed going into the Naama Bay which was buzzing with people, live acts, food stalls and shopping opportunities galore. I got to stroke a camel! We checked out the bars in town, followed by late night falafels! We spent time chatting, reading, sunbathing (me more than the others) and swimming, I even went to the gym (sad I know) we went handbag shopping and we did a lot of eating. (whoever invented mini puds is a genius). I was quite good and avoided them for about 3 days after which I ate everything in sight! We were warned about Egypt's reputation for tummy bugs and I watched my friends take all the precautions of avoiding the salad bar, water and using hand sanitiser like there was no tomorrow while I just ate everything especially the fresh fruit and salad. I then watched my friends one by one get ill, never mind sun, sea and sex it was more like sun, sea and A & E! lol. Two of them lost a day bed ridden which was awful.
I've never spent so much time being too scared to fart in case you follow through?! I didn't have a proper dodgy stomach but as every body in the hotel around me did it made you very paranoid that you could be next! (Sorry too much detail??). I wasn't actually ill until I got back to the UK to the sanctity of my house. Thank god I live alone, that is all I'm saying!
So even though Eygpt was beautiful I probably wouldn't go back. I have a stomach of steel and for me to get ill is unheard of! I'm thinking may be Portugal next year?!
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my friends who are like family to me for taking time out of their busy lives leaving their kids and hubbies at home to come on holiday with me. You know how much you all mean to me and I love you loads.
Thank you for reading :) xx
