New Year, New Profile, New Start.

Let me start by wishing you all a very Happy New Year! I have such hope and aspirations for 2012 I don’t know where to begin. As I sit here trying to recover from a huge hangover (Me n bestie hit the town hard last night!) I can’t help but smile to myself because I have a blessed life, made extra special by all the fantastic people I have in it who show me unconditional love and support.

You know who you are. You are the ones who take my calls regardless of the time of the day, who take time out of their busy lives to help me mop up the tears (and there were a few in 2011). You didn’t judge me as you watched me make the same mistakes and you supported me even though you hated my decisions - for that alone I will love you forever.

Overall 2011 was a fantastic year, I had a lot of fun, I tried many new things and I enjoyed the majority of them including writing this blog which has had over 1000 views since it became public in August/September!. Woohoo! I spent time with some of my favourite people and I hope to do much more of that this year. I made mistakes but I don’t regret anything I did as it made me the person I am today, and I’m proud of who I am.

2011 was all about the ex’s, I suppose I needed to revisit past relationships because I had regrets at how I had behaved in them the first time round, and I needed closure, I wanted to try to figure out where they went wrong, and why, and to give it 100% to see if it would have made a difference? What did I learn? I learnt that the issues weren’t mine, I learnt no matter how hard you try you can’t make someone love you, I learnt you can analyse it to death but the ending is the same so why waste the energy?

I have to say I had a lot of fun working this out, many high points, from jumping into a Jacuzzi bath on Valentines because I was so excited about the bubbles they were BIG bubbles!. I was also off my head as I had mixed my antibiotics (for a chest infection) with wine! Poor man didn’t know what hit him!.

I also got to watch a 40 year old male dance around my bedroom in a mankini singing “I’m too sexy” too funny – really wish I’d filmed that! or my ex showing up at my house in a fireman’s outfit – with a helmet with a built in siren playing full blast (god knows what my neighbours thought!!)  Though I had hoped for an outfit with less material?? I’m never satisfied!!.

Turns out my other “perfect” ex is so incredibly different to when I first dated him a year before that I’m a bit scared to date any one new (are all men totally fake when you first meet them???!). When we met he was lovely, we got on so well we could finish each others sentences, and we had worked in similar industries so we had a fair bit in common, we had the same sense of humour and had a few really good dates but he wasn’t sure so I walked away. The “real” Steve didn’t come into play until this year and believe me you wouldn’t want to date that. I’ve never met anyone so stroppy in my life,

I think his mother has a lot to answer for, when he was a child and didn’t get his own way and threw a strop or tantrum, she should have nipped it in the bud right there and then instead of leaving it 38 years for me to have to deal with!

His sense of humour seems to have changed too, it involves putting you down all the time and he thinks it’s funny because he’s “joking”. I’m a happy go lucky person but even I can get upset at the constant digs. I don’t believe for a minute he knows what he is doing; either that or I just give these men too much credit.

Anyway I was told (by him) that I would still be single this time next year, to the extent he wanted to put a wager on it. What did I do? Did I go cry into the corner – wailing “no one will ever love me?” Hell no, I updated my profile on 2 dating sites and started flirting like no ones business (Girl Power!) with a new sense of purpose – to prove him wrong! Hee hee.

In the space of a week I had over 100 emails, from 61 men (I counted just to get the stats right), the majority of whom were either too old (mid to late 40’s), too young (in their 20’s), too overweight (described as average???!), or too “just not my type”.

I only respond to men who interest me, otherwise I’m not only wasting my time but theirs too. I don’t respond to men who send me semi naked pics of them or have them on their profile, I don’t mind if the pic was taken at a beach on your hols that’s ok, but if you’re naked in your bedroom – so not happening! I don’t talk to men who can’t be bothered to complete their profile – how lazy can you be? Or worse still men who don’t fill in their profile and send me an email saying “Hi” that’s it just “Hi”. Original eh? So with this in mind 90 percent didn’t get a response!

I did talk to a couple of them and even arranged dates with 2 of them for this weekend just gone, the first one (who I had reservations about) decided to cancel 2 hours before the date for no reason and I’m not convinced he would have bothered to let me know had I not text and called to confirm before I left? What an arse, I told him too because my new years resolution is to stop taking crap from men.

I’ve had to postpone the date with the other one until next weekend and now I’ve ended up with 2 dates next weekend so gonna be a busy girl! I have my reservations about both of them but we shall see. I have a confession, I hate first dates, the thought of it makes me wanna run and hide under my duvet! I’m fine once I get there though – as I can talk for England!

I did get an email from another rubberist but I’m not sure if it was my ex messing about, I’m pretty sure it was but who knows?!

I also got a wink from username “Got a huge one” (don’t even go there!) I ignored it so he emailed me asking me if I was willing to sell him my used underwear. (Why does this not surprise me???!) He didn’t get a response either.

So today I’ve put up new pictures and reworded my profile to try to cut down on the number of people who email me who are inappropriate, it hasn’t worked as yet. In the last 4 hours I have received 40 emails, (I’ve not read them all), I just don’t have the time, but I’ve had a giggle, there’s the man who’s from Norwich who didn’t realise I lived 140 miles away and when I told him I was looking for someone closer to home said he could move? Lol!

The 26 year old incredible fit male looking for fun? Ooooh sooo tempting but I must behave, I haven’t got time to be side tracked by a young hottie, I’m looking for Mr Right, not Mr Right now!

I also got an email from a Ricky Gervais look a like – I’m not kidding – you couldn’t make this sh1t up, his job is to impersonate Ricky and does quite well out of it! Too funny, If only I could get a Bradley Cooper look alike? I’d be on to a winner! Hee hee.

I talked to guy who seemed genuine and after telling him what I was looking for responded with an email telling me if he was honest he was looking for a women who was at least 5ft 10 and wished me luck in the future???!!! What am I gonna grow? I have to say I was totally flabbergasted! I’ve never knowingly been rejected for my height? I could wear 4 inch heels mate but with that attitude you can f%ck off!

I also got an email from a nice looking bloke stating “he’s a submissive guy looking for a girl to play with him, exploit him and likes mild domination” Can someone for the love of god tell me where in my profile I come across that I’m into this – is it the picture of me in a leather cat suit brandishing a whip? (I’m kidding).  I have a confession I responded and asked him why, if he had read my profile which clearly states what I am looking for, he had contacted me? He came back to say he hadn’t read my profile but had seen my pics and found me sexy!.  Jesus! I give up!

Anyway I’m out there I’m trying and who knows what’s around the corner? I wish you all much luck, love and orgasmic sex for 2012.

Thank you for reading!