January – All about the Drag – from dressing up as a man to going on a date with one – oh yeah – finally! Get In!

Ok so January is well and truly over and I get the feeling that every month this year will have a significant theme. So for January this was “All about the Drag” It all started with a “gender bender” fancy dress party, in other words we had to dress up as the opposite sex. (I was going to go as a drag queen – ie a woman, dressed as a man, dressed as a woman, but it got waaaaay too complex!) So Me & Bestie went as New York gangsters with our fake tashes, our pistols tucked into the back of our trousers and my Tommy gun & cigar handy. I was greeted by the birthday boy in his blue sequinned vintage dress and heels! Awesome! 

I have to say I had a really good laugh (nothing to do with the several bottles of cheapo champagne consumed). I was impressed at the level of effort people had made to dress up, there were plenty of fake eyelashes, eye shadow and lipstick (not usually things I associate with men) I was flabbergasted at how fabulous some of the men looked as women! Not being funny but some of them could give my legs a run for my money!  Jealous!! Lol! 

The guy dressed as Freddie Mercury in the “I want to break free” video was amazing!  He totally nailed that look. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more outrageous in walked Lady Gaga or “Lady Gay Gay” as we liked to refer to her/him (I don’t know it all got very confusing!) The fabulous outfit came complete with a home made paper Mache telephone headband! It had to be seen to be believed! I have no idea how these guys survived dancing in 4 inch heels but I was told that they had found a whole new respect for us women after a couple of hours in them! Lol! There were so many other fabulous outfits both male and female but I’d be here all day describing them!

Bestie was impressed at how comfortable the men’s clothes were so that’s another thing to add to my list on “how men have it easier than us women!” 

The following weekend I attended a panto in Leicester Square with one of my Julies to see “Snow white and the seven poofs”. Once seated we set eyes on the most gorgeous man that has ever walked the earth amongst the audience (obviously gay – how unfair is life???).  He was with his partner who was much older and not really in the same league? So I was working on the assumption he was rich or had some other sought after asset? Turned out I was right and he was a TV producer – Get in!. My next question was – were they in a relationship or was he “hired” for the evening? If the latter I wonder how much he charges?! 

The show itself was soooo good, incredibly politically incorrect but totally hilarious, lots of profanity including plenty from the audience! The finale had me in tears of laughter with Mrs Moore and her oversized syringe. We got to meet the cast afterwards for a drink at a gay bar which was a first for me! I would definitely recommend it! They are doing another show in the autumn called Drag Divas so I can’t wait to see that! 

Is it wrong that some men look so much better dressed as women? It’s a bit of a let down seeing them as men afterwards?! Lol! 

Moving on  - You know you always read that men who drive fast, expensive cars are compensating for inadequacies elsewhere (clears throat) turns out there could be some truth to this? I laughed my head off when one of my work colleagues told me about her friend who had started dating a bloke who drove a rather expensive sports car (I’m talking in the league of Ferrari’s & Porsches etc) and was really disappointed when they finally made it to the bedroom, its such a cliché but who knew it would come true? 

After further discussion with a group of friends it was concluded that when dating men its not the size of their feet you should be looking at its their.....................hands! Men with small hands or to be more precise short stubby fingers will undoubtedly have a small penis! (I bet every man reading this is now examining his hands! Lol). So you have been warned but then is size everything??? I know for some, the size of his wallet is more important? Not for me though! Lol.

It has been quite busy on the dating front  - Men who did not get a response from me this week included the obese man – step awaaaay from the KFC and let me introduce you to a salad! I’m sorry but I don’t mind a man with a “few extra pounds” but if you blatantly need to lose in excess of 60 lbs., I don’t care how much you earn or how great your personality is, I will not be dating you.

In my defence I have put in my profile that I go to the gym and that even though I don’t expect my man to do the same I do like a man who looks after himself, this probably includes getting on the scales once in a while?

There was the guy who’s opening line was “tell me one random thing about you” to which I sooo wanted to respond “I’m not interested?” How’s that??? Hee hee!

The guy who emailed to say “find me, find peace?” Why? Are you planning on killing me?  (If he wasn’t before, he might be now!)

The two Asian men – oooooooh dear where do I start?. Deep breath - To the two Asian men who sent me an email to say hello using words like “jee” and my personal favourite “Kidha” you sooo misinterpreted my profile! For the record if I’m ever going to date an Asian man – it has to be a well educated, well mannered and sophisticated man who wouldn’t dream of using words such as “jee or kidha” in an introductory email or ever really? (Its ok my Asian friends are wetting themselves reading this because they know me so well).

Anyway as I was saying it has been quite busy on the dating front in that not only communicating by email and text I actually made an effort and went on a date! This did however bring up a slight dilemma with my FWB, ie do I tell him or not? More importantly at what point do you have to tell him? From my point of view a relationship with the FWB is based on the fact that you are both single at the time and it is of convenience to you both. How many FWB’s you have at any given time is still up for debate. So when either of you meet someone else then the other person backs off until such time you both find yourselves single again or you lose interest in each other and go your separate ways.

What threw me was that he text me to let me know he had a date the following weekend and I hadn’t told him I had just been on one?! Lol! In my defence I’m not sure he can handle this as well as I can! So what did I do? I did what I always do - I spoke to a few people to gather opinion. 

The first person I spoke to (single female) believes that you can date more than one man at the beginning until you have decided or rather you have both decided to date “exclusively” up until that point anything goes, ie you can keep your FWB and or accept other dates should you wish to.

The second person (married female) generally agreed with this, so until you’re in a proper relationship, anything goes. On the other end of the spectrum my friend (female in a long term relationship) classed this as cheating, actually I’m not sure she’s entirely happy about the FWB thing as a whole but who knows! 

I remember chatting to one of my ex’s (way after we had finished dating) who had told me he had met a really lovely lady who had wanted him to wait a while before sleeping with him and he had totally respected her wishes, candidly adding that of cause he had had to sleep with other people while he waited! Lol!  MEN! Is it any surprise I’m so cynical???! At least he was honest with me (rolling of eyes). 

So anyway I went on a date last weekend with this really nice bloke, (average sized hands and didn’t drive a Lamborghini so it’s all good). We had exchanged a few emails and a lot of texts (he liked to text!) which didn’t bother me as it was nice to have the attention, I was really nervous about meeting up as experience has taught me that exchanging too much information before a meeting can be dangerous as the expectations are higher and there is more chance of disappointment.  With this in mind I try to meet up with people as quickly as possible.  

He was lovely, attentive, caring, well mannered and really sweet and could nearly talk as much as me - well ok when he could get a word in edgeways!! We had a lot in common, and ultimately wanted the same things in life.

So what was wrong with him? Not much, apart from the fact I wasn’t sure I fancied him! He said he liked to be the “funny one” which is hilarious because I’m quite “funny” myself and as we were both competitive and stubborn with it, I really wasn’t sure it would work!  He made some comment about how size doesn’t matter and I was assuming he was referring to his height (5ft 7) but you never really know do you??? Question is “is that a risk you’re willing to take?”.  Lol.

He was very sociable and fit – played football every week. I just wasn’t sure? To be honest I’m never sure on a first date, in fact I can’t think of a single first date that I’ve come back from and thought yeah he’s lovely – apart from Steve and look how wrong I got that! Or actually the first time I set eyes on my ex (the one I was with for 7 years) I knew the minute he walked into the room I wanted him (we weren’t even on a date but may be that kind of emotion only happens when you’re a teenager?) Anyway I’m older now and I’m usually not sure until the second date and this is the crucial one to whether I will see this person again or not. (For the record this doesn’t mean I go on a second date with everyone sometimes you know on the first one!).

We arranged to meet during the week. The night before which I got a text from the guy in Portsmouth that I’d cancelled a date with earlier in the month saying that he had being giving it some thought and really regretted that we didn’t meet up and may be we could try to get around the whole distance thing? (In other words – you saw my updated pictures and decided you should have made an effort?). I told him I was going on a date so couldn’t but agreed to let him know if it didn’t work out!

So I met up for my second date in a really nice curry house. However by the end of it I had pretty much made my mind up that I just wasn’t feeling it, there was no chemistry which is such a shame because life could have been so much easier just to go a long with it but that wouldn’t have been fair to either of us.  We would have been great friends but that’s not what I’m looking for, I have plenty of them already.

I’m looking for the one man, that one instant connection which I’m not 100% sure is out there but I don’t want to settle for anything less? Is that wrong? I want the man I’m at total peace with, really comfortable in the company of - I want to lie in a field side by side listening to “chasing cars” by snow patrol playing full blast! Is that asking too much? Obviously!

Anyway I’m at present suffering terribly from “girl flu” so had to take a break from dating for a bit though I have agreed to meet the guy from Portsmouth next weekend. Knowing my luck I’ll really like him which will be a logistical nightmare!  I will keep you posted! Thanks for reading.