There’s nothing worse than walking into the line of fire of
someone else’s fart, like seriously its bad enough when they’re your own but
someone else’s is enough to make you gag. This one in question came from the
arse of a small child which makes you wonder what the hell is his mother
feeding him?......
Greetings from NoshWorld. Sorry I know it’s taken me ages to
write. So I'm gonna (briefly) fit in 3 months in one blog? I suggest you make a
cuppa or pour a glass of wine and get comfortable!
Firstly let me start by thanking everyone who emailed and
text me to offer to apply for the position of my next FWB! In all seriousness
that was not the point of the last blog, but thanks anyway it did make me
giggle!
So September saw the last BBQ of the year courtesy of my
fabulous cousin. I showed up with my sprite zero and skimmed milk (I was taking
my diet seriously) and then stuffed my face on kebabs and cake (obviously not
that seriously!) There was logic in there somewhere!
September also saw the end of my love affair with Christian
Grey (huge sigh) and what an affair it was! I miss him dearly! I have to be
honest I had really hoped she would leave the ending open for future books but
she kind of ruined that with the epilogue. (Why? oh why?, oh why??!!) I wanted more!! (Story of my life - Dammit!)
Moving on I only managed to see a couple of movies in
September, the new brad Pitt one “Killing me softly” which was so bad I wish
somebody would! I actually walked out half way through because I couldn't bear
to waste another minute of my life in there! I've been told it’s had mixed
reviews and its like Marmite you either love it or you hate it. I hate both!
I tell you what I did love however? I loved “Looper” – It was
an awesome adrenaline fuelled roller-coaster ride which left you continuously
trying to work out how it was going end. All I’m going to say is I’m surprised
that little kid didn't give me nightmares! Lol! Bruce Willis – still got it
baby! Still looking hot blowing away the bad guys with your massive sub-machine guns. I bet he loves still being able to do action movies. I’m also very
excited that he’s doing another Die Hard movie which is coming out on
Valentines day! Three guesses where I’m gonna be! Woohoo.
Lastly September saw me desperately trying to shift a few
pounds by increasing my exercise regime. (mainly because I love food and can’t
give it up) I spent 2 weeks thrashing it out at the gym – 15 classes to be
precise – the result? I put on 2 pounds! Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!! I was not
impressed.
October was a strange month, one weekend I’m celebrating one
of my favourite school friend’s wedding held at the stunning Waldorf Hilton
Hotel in London
I went from the joy of a wedding to the sadness of a funeral
the following weekend. I had to make the 4 hour journey “up North” to Manchester
With this in mind there was no question in my mind as to whether
we were going to be at this funeral, so on few hours notice I set off (the
night before the funeral) with my sister and her husband and planned to stay in
a hotel mid way. I had to be sneaked into a hotel room because we were too
cheap to pay for 2 rooms. (We can be so bloody Asian sometimes!) In fairness
they were £65.00 each for what I would class as pretty basic facilities.
The original plan was for my sister and her hubby to check in
together while I hide in the car, then my brother in law would come out to get
something from the car and go back in with me? Bearing in mind there is a 12 year
age gap between me and my sister, we are different builds and had different
clothing on, the receptionist would have to be pissed to fall for it!
There was talk of climbing in from a window (the room was on
the ground floor) but I’d had a glass of wine to steady my nerves by this stage
and was rather tipsy so that plan was aborted, instead we had to wait for the
receptionist to change shifts so I could go in through the entrance bold as
brass like I was a paying guest! Cue my walking into the automatic door which
didn’t automatically open – I do like to make an entrance, so much for keeping
a low profile!
Once safely In the room I ended up sleeping on the floor –
well I tried to sleep but even my earplugs couldn’t drown out a “certain
someone’s” snoring! Lol. To make matters worse during the night I managed to
twist my neck so badly that I couldn’t move it! Apparently sleeping on the
floor isn’t good for you? Go figure, either that or I’m getting old!
So off we headed the following morning, (me facing forward at
all times) and managed to get through the funeral. We spent a good few hours
catching up with my cousins who despite losing their mother still managed to
maintain their sense of humour. What else can you do in such a situation?. I
have to say I was really pleased we had made the effort to say good bye to my
aunt properly. It was a shame we couldn’t stay any longer but we all had to get
back to work for the next day.
I was quite tearful on the journey home as it had been a long
day with plenty of time for reflection and all I could think was at this rate
by the time I get married most of my relatives will probably be dead! Lol!
So what followed in November was a month of dating, oh yeah
baby. I talked to a few men and agreed to a date with a Scottish guy (I’ve always been a sucker for accents!) He was
just my type – dark hair, blue eyes, not too tall and quite fit, the irony that
he lived around the corner wasn’t lost on me. (Even if I got snowed in we could
walk to each others houses – awesome!!) Seriously after all this time looking
for Mr Right – surely he couldn’t possibly live round the corner? If so how
come our paths had never crossed? We both use the same small tescos for the odd
pint of milk? We probably fill up our cars at the same petrol station? We were
both at the Notting Hill carnival this year (with a few other thousand people –
granted). He worked at Brannigans about the time I used to work at Ikon/Diva so
we were in the same “scene” you could say?.
Any way we had a few really good dates including a night of
take out while watching “Take me out” – how cute is that???! For our third date
we went to watch the new Bond Movie (at my suggestion) – I have a confession to
make, I'm a Bond virgin – gasp. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at how
good this movie was, Daniel Craig was gorgeous, there was plenty of action,
fast cars, a few gadgets, awesome explosions, and some proper British humour
which was something I wasn’t expecting. So now I've got to go through the back
catalogue of them! I couldn't decide who was more hot, Daniel Craig or my date!
I was quite excited about the prospect of having him help me
put up Christmas lights on the outside of my house and going Christmas shopping
together to buy a reindeer (obviously not a real one!) which was something we
had discussed. At last I’d met a man who was into Christmas as much as me! Woohoo..
My enthusiasm was short lived as unfortunately after a few
dates his interest seemed to be waning and I felt he wasn't making enough
effort and I decided I deserved better than that (sexy accent or no sexy
accent) which was a real shame because I did really like him. Also to be honest I'm not sure we had much in common but then I don’t seem to have much in common
with many men? I don’t watch soaps, I'm not into reality TV and I don’t eat fast
food unless it’s a curry and I'm not sure that’s classed as fast?!
More importantly our schedules didn't match either, he was
the kind of man that decides on the day whether he wants a date and I'm the
kind of girl that has to plan what I'm doing at least a day in advance? I'm all
up for spontaneity once in a while but I can’t live my whole life like that. I'm never gonna be the “beck and call” girl. In that scenario I may as well be
your FWB not your girlfriend.
So unfortunately another one bites the dust but you can’t say
I didn't make an effort this year? I just didn't meet the right one.
Besides there wasn't time for any more dating as the rest of
November was spent celebrating my birthday which was spread out over 3
weekends, yes you heard me right, I'm getting too old to fit it all into one. One
weekend was spent celebrating with my family, the second I had dinner out with
my cousin, I had my friends round for cake and gossip which was really nice and
I was so pleased that they all made such an effort for me. Later that evening I
met up with an ex and went away to a hotel for the night – gasp. Well what’s a
single gal to do?.
Last but not least the third weekend we had the big girlie night
out clubbing in school uniform, my first time out in public in knee high socks!
I have to say i was certainly lovely and warm even though it was freezing
outside!
Though I am concerned as I can feel a whole new fitness
addiction coming on – it’s called Fight Klub, it’s reached Crawley and
it’s the next level in body combat because your punching and kicking a huge
punch bag thing.
It was something I wanted to do in November at its Crawley
launch but as it was a week before my birthday I decided it might be better to
wait until after all the festivities because knowing my luck I'll go crazy and
injure myself!
The hype surrounding the instructor (Chrissy Harper) has been
spreading around my gym for the last couple of months, he’s supposed to be “hard
core” and will definitely “put you through your paces” I was told. He also teaches Body Combat and I was gutted
to hear that our Saturday combat instructor was quitting and one of the classes
she teaches at another gym is to be taken over by him. How unfair is that????!
So when my gym decided to increase its prices this week by
11% (I was not a happy bunny). I started to look around for a new gym and
decided the best idea was to find out where this man is teaching. I bumped into
one of the instructors at the doctors (where else) and she told me that as
she’s taking over the Saturday class she has someone new coming in to try out
her Tuesday class. Yep you've guessed it, it’s the Fight Klub legend!
So Tuesday night even though I was quite ill, (anti biotics
in my hand) I went to combat because I could not miss this opportunity to see
how good he really is. I was not disappointed!
I had been warned that he was quite pretty but I have to go
on record to say he has got to be the most beautiful man I have ever seen in
the flesh (either that or the drugs were working!). I have no words to describe
this man other than hot! Gorgeous smile, fit body and teaches combat – what
more do you need??? He did also live up to his reputation and it was a really
good work out. (There was plenty of panting going on in the room and I'm not
talking about me!!)
The view from the front row wasn't bad either though to be honest I couldn't look at him as it would put me off what I was doing!. Shame he’s not single though! Big sigh,
As luck would have it, there’s a possibility he may become a
permanent feature at my gym so I predict a surge of class numbers come January
and it’s nothing to do with peoples New Year’s resolutions! Lol! So it looks
like I'll be staying at my gym for a little while longer! I'm just hoping he
brings Fight Klub to our gym too as I won’t be able to afford to do that
separately now and I’d really like to try it. Check out the link for the Fight
Klub trailer on you tube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRdc317Eask,
How awesome does this look?!
So December arrived full throttle, .I went to the Winter
Wonderland with my nephew and his friend and was very excitable by all the snow
men. It was such a nice evening, walking around, looking at the lights, plenty
of mulled wine and a really nice christmassy atmosphere. It wasn't too busy as we got there quite late
in the evening so it wasn't total chaos. What a perfect location for a date?
May be I'll do that next year?
For the first time ever my company had a proper Christmas
doooo. So last weekend we headed off to Wotton House in Dorking which I have to
say was a stunning location. It is set in 20 acres of land, 13 acres of which
is listed gardens so you can imagine how beautiful that is. Unfortunately due
to the typical British weather (it was pissing it down) and the fact I had a
cold I didn't get to explore the grounds the following morning like we had
planned to.
I have to say though that I totally fell in love with the
place, it’s such a beautiful location and perfect to get married in, now I've just got to find a man!
May be I'll add that to my Santa’s wish list? Please Santa
bring me a man that I can walk down this aisle with, surrounded by my friends
and family and live happily ever after? Is that too much to ask? More than likely!
I know someone who'll be having a very Merry Christmas this
year and that’s EL James! I was delighted to see that she has brought out a 50
shades “toy” kit available for delivery in time for Christmas! She’s our very
own Mrs Claus delivering pleasure (or pain) to one and all! Not really my kind
of thing though I'm up for a new rabbit? I am FWBless remember and I have been
a very good girl this year – may be I'll add that to my Santa’s wish list too?.
You know if you can’t find me a real man this has got to be the best
alternative?.
Anyway Christmas Eve has arrived, I've finally finished work,
my Christmas cookies went down well at work – no one lost a tooth and as far as
I know everyone is still alive, so may be my baking isn’t too bad? All the
gifts are wrapped, just got to pack my suitcase and head off to the countryside
to spend Christmas with my lovely family with their special blend of humour.
I'm planning on driving down late to avoid the traffic so I'll be in my pj’s and Christmas hat, lets just hope I don’t get pulled over by
the police for a random check!
So I'll take this opportunity to wish you all a fabulous
Christmas, I hope you get everything you've asked for whether you have been
naughty or nice. Thank you to all my friends and family for the support you
have shown me this year. Much love to you all. xx
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