A New Dating site, Ex's and FWB's

Hey,

So another week has flown by? There have been some high points in NoshWorld. The highs – finding the perfect phone for me (It’s a Blackberry and I have it IN MY HANDS) – believe me the amount of hassle getting it was unbelievable, I’m very fussy and had my heart set on this one specific phone and nothing else would do (bit like how I am with men I suppose – always want what’s hard to get!) – v excited as it means I’ll have access to my blog and sites all the time – bring on the tweets!!. Just got to work out how to use it now!

I managed to change my hours at work so I can fit in an extra Body Combat class a week – how sad am I??? Feel fabulous for it though!

Found out this week that one of my besties is well loved up, I was beyond chuffed to learn she is following my 5 -6 date rule and is finding it very successful!  (My god some people actually listen to me??). May be I’ll become one of those people who can’t do but can teach? Did any one read about the lady “Love Doctor” in the paper this week? She’s 24 and makes a living by helping people seduce their ideal partner? Only she can’t find love herself? Her problem she says is she’s so caught up in the frill of the chase she doesn’t want the relationship at the end of it? I think that’s where our similarities end, I hate the whole chase bit (though I am getting better at it!) I’m happiest in a proper relationship (though it has been a while so things may have changed!). 

The low this week – was having to visit my brother in law in hospital after he suffered a “medium” heart attack. I asked him what “medium” meant and he smiled and said well any harder than that’ and it would have been bye bye. (Not funny!) Made me realise life really is too short (so I’d best find a man quick!!) He’s going to be alright by the way, I told him not to go anywhere.

Talking of men I recently made a decision that it was time to cut ties with the ex’s as its time to move on with my life.  This lasted approximately 2 days before I got serious withdrawal symptoms! (Ok lets be honest this lasted like an hour before I had palpitations!) I suppose when you’re single its reassuring to still have male company even if it is from an ex?.  May be I just seek the attention? (There’s nothing like the feeling when you see the little envelope on your phone to say you have a message – big sigh) Besides I tend to get on better with my ex’s when I’m not dating them probably because the fear of commitment is no longer there? (Their fear, not mine).

I then got onto thinking can you be friends with an ex or will sex always get in the way? If you get on well then where’s the harm? I think the harm comes into play when you’re not being honest about your motives and feelings. If you have a secret desire to get back together, to show them what they’re missing, then you’re playing with fire and you’re the only one who’s going to get burnt.

My pattern in the past has always been to keep my recent ex’s as a FWB (friend with benefits). Obviously this means they need to have been good in bed otherwise it defeats the whole object, also you need to be able to get along with them and enjoy their company?. After all he needs to come up for air at some point?!

There’s only 3 ex’s that fit into that category at present (I enjoy their company and find them interesting to talk to – not I want to get back together with them – Ex’s are ex’s for a reason and usually a very good one!). Out of them, one is too busy, ones abroad (and I’m kinda ready to move on from that one) and the last one is just not good for me.

Oh yes Steve is baaaaaack - remember him? He was the one who commented that Kelly Rowland looked chunky in her Commander video – in the tight red leather cat suit? Really??? Are you serious?? He’s also the one who commented on a picture of me in the countryside by asking how long ago it was taken because I looked massive in the picture???? He was like “don’t get me wrong, you look tiny on the sofa here and I know the camera adds like ten pounds!!” Cheeky git, it was taken the month before and it was winter time, I was wearing a fat jumper and a coat so yeah of cause I looked a bit bigger???? For the record whatever I lack in body I more than make up for in personality!!  (For those of you who don’t know me I’m a size 10-12 and he’s a wanker!). He’s funny and suggested may be third time would be lucky??? I’d say third time would make me a sadist - so that’s the end of that then – Eek! (I’m screwed – or not as the case may be?!)

So I joined a new website to find Mr Right – had to pay – not impressed (paid for one month and got one month free so not too bad), am hoping the quality of the blokes will be better because surely men who aren’t looking for a relationship won’t waste their money? So far met one bloke who after only being on the site for 3 days decided to date someone he already knew? I obviously have that influence on men???!

Am now chatting to another bloke but he does live quite far away so I don’t know if anything will come of it? Also got a couple of emails from men in their 50’s? No I’m not looking for a sugar daddy thank you very much.

I did have a really sweet bloke who sent me a message and after I responded told me he had only sent the message to “test the waters” and hadn’t seriously expected me to reply and that I had made his day? Lol (Awwww sweet). Not sure if he’s ginger? Described himself as having brown hair but I don’t trust that site (it’s the free one – oh yes I’m on more than one). Not heard from him for a couple of days so I probably boosted his confidence enough for him to go find someone else? Jeez!

There was the bloke who sent me an email saying “hi”  (original eh?) and because I didn’t respond straight away (needy or what?) sent me another one the next day to say “you’re probably not interested because I have kids” I was thinking, no I’m not interested because you’re ugly?  I decided not to respond, I always think if you have nothing nice to say its best not to say anything at all.

On the subject of kids, I wouldn’t rule out a man just because he’s a dad, I’m not that naive to think you can get to your mid thirties and still meet lots of people who didn’t have children.  I’m not particularly good with them though so I would be put off if they lived with him and or there were several of them (young ones).

There was the bloke from Kent who’s first words to me on the phone were “you realise I have kids?” I was like “what more than one?” (Trying to hide the panic in my voice!) He had three but they were all over 16 so not the end of the world (he was only in his 40’s so started young). I can live with that. Unfortunately for me the date didn’t go too well because I accidentally hooked up with an ex the night before and was shattered by the time I got to the date. (It was New Year and I was having a fabulous start to it!!) He later text me to say there was no chemistry? I’m not surprised I was comatose throughout most of the date!. (Will I ever learn???!)

So we shall see. It’s only been a few days, who knows what’s around the corner in the online dating world? Will keep you updated.

Thanks for reading.